Instead, it ran me ragged traveling between two homes, hers and mine, many times per day (she had already been quite disabled for years, having many/increasing dependent needs). I, of course, couldn’t do it never would. I was actually told by experts to walk away from my widowed mother, for the demands she put on me to care for her, based on where SHE wanted to live and, unrealistically, HOW she wanted to live. It got to be that they couldn’t even walk out onto the driveway to pick up their morning newspaper, step down onto the porch to pick up their mail, much less go into the garage where washing machine/clothes dryer was located, get around to the rear of the house to feed pets or water the lawn, etc. Narrow door frames, steps/stairs, large step over and down into the shower stall, etc. Their 1950s-era house was not suitable for the aging adult it was built for a young family. My dad saved as much money as he could but neglected to ever look into the true cost of elder care. They want to stay right where they are, when it’s not practical or even safe. They’ll leave it to you to figure it out you will inherit their problems and have to be the problem-solver for them (and you will always be the “bad” guy). Until you are faced as the adult child (in my case, the ONLY adult child) trying to care for your aging and dependent parent, be open to suggestions about how they might live because, I guarantee you, they probably won’t be. I was formerly one of those people who could make a judgment about a topic like this when, in fact, I knew very little about it.
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